Through my relatively short career in professional Software development (11 years), I’ve worked in a variety of different setups with different processes and procedures. In the previous job to my current I was kept in a perpetual state of frustration, dissapointment and anger at the ridiculous decisions and stupid secrecy that did nothing but split teams and cause resentment.
Don’t get me wrong, I know that there are times when a company needs to develop something with a very small group of people to avoid possible leaks. But when you get ego’s mixed in you get the I’m better than you comments and attitude, you get to feel less important in the whole picture as a result and your confidence bombs.
It’s not all down to management, as the ego belongs to the individual, but there is an element where project managers lose their overall sense of the big picture and they themselves can become blinkered and focused on the one small part of the great big whole. Then you get a definite divide and a very unnatural and unhelpful competitive spirit growing within the team.
The result can be a complete breakdown of communication between the waring factions and a drop in the creative input during team meetings and project discussions because those ‘untrusted’ and ‘unskilled’ people will clam up while those ‘important’ and ‘highly valued’ members of the team, with their new found confidence, will put in all their ‘awesome’ ideas. They may well be excellent ideas too, but through the lack of full integration and participation you’ll never get the ‘alternative’ views that shape ideas and eventually produce the diamond.
I write this on the anniversary of a very dark period in my career, where I was continually made to feel useless and ‘not worthy’ by some people including the project managers. So much so that I was on the brink of jacking it all in and seeking a new career, possiblyback into graphic design.
Thankfully after Christmas last year, after feeling physically sick at the thought of going back to work for the people who made me feel that way I decided not to let them win and My wife and I relocated to North staffordshire where I joined a great company with people much smarter than me but lacking the ego! My confidence is at an all time high and I’m once again enjoying development.
I didn’t intend to writ this post the way it turned out but I figured rather than delete it I’d post it as an encouragement to anyone else out there that is going through the same thing… don’t let the bastards get you down!